Living life.

Last night was my works night out, it was the first time I have had an alcoholic drink without any pain in three years. I was just taking things slowly as I had heard that with having an ileostomy you can get drunk very quickly. I tried a few small cosmopolitans which were very nice, and in the pubs I had two archers and lemonades, I was regretting the lemonade when I got home! The gas bubbles meant that my bag was filling up with air every half hour! So I kept having to wake up to go and empty it, very tiring! But it was a very good night 🙂
As usual, I’m writing a blog after I’ve been thinking about life. I have my consultation with my surgeon on the 19th of December where he is hopefully going to tell me when I’m getting my reversal. Im not really too sure about how I feel regarding my reversal. I’m looking forward to wearing low cut jeans again and feeling the air on my stomach. I’m looking forward to being able to confidently lie on my tummy when I’m sleeping. I’m also looking forward to going to the toilet like a regular person again. But there’s a part of me that’s nervous. I’m nervous about complications and infection. What if things go wrong and I need an ileostomy again in a few months? What if joining me back together means constant flare ups of the crohns again? I’m nervous about all of these things, but I’m willing to find out. I’d rather go through it all and say I tried, than not try at all. I needed an ileostomy because my bowel was so diseased and it was an emergency, if they had caught the crohns earlier I wouldn’t have needed it at all. So I’m glad I’ve had the experience and found out that the taboo subject of ostomy bags, isn’t so bad.
I’m trying to take every day as it comes; I know that crohns can leave complication in future. I know that it may effect my fertility, I understand that it may increase my chances of colon/bowel cancer and I know that I’ll most likely be in and out of the hospital for the rest of my life. But I’m okay with that. Life is all about challenging yourself, and I see no greater challenge for myself than this. BRING IT ON.

Don’t be afraid should things happen to change, because change can be a beautiful thing. Life is loving and letting go.


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